


Sex Appeal

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-18
Updated: 2005-03-18
Packaged: 2019-05-30 22:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh is named one of "People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive."





	Sex Appeal

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Sex Appeal**

**by: Steph**

**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Humor  
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** "The West Wing" and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to Aaron Sorkin, NBC, et al. This is just for fun out of a love for the show. No profit is made and no infringement is intended.   
**Summary:** Josh is named one of "People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive."   


"Josh," Donna said as she entered his office. 

He looked up from his work, "Yeah?" 

"Did you know that-..." 

Josh rolled his eyes and shook his head, "No, I was not aware of whatever tedious bit of trivia you have to share with me...And I don't care to know." 

Donna smiled slightly, moving her hand that held an object to her side and out of his sight. "How do you know you don't care if you don't even know what it is?" 

"Because in all the time I've known you I have never been even remotely interested in your babblings, so I'm willing to bet that I'll keep my disinterested streak alive." 

Donna raised her eyebrows and said in a singsong tone, "Fine." 

At that, Josh's brow furrowed. Donna turned on her heel to leave when Josh's voice stopped her. She smiled before turning back around to face him. 

He rubbed at the back of his neck and tried to act nonchalant. "So...what did you want to ask me?" 

Donna smiled and held up an issue of People's magazine, "Did you know that you were named one of People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive?" 

His eyes widened in shock and he sputtered, "I was?" Josh realized that his reaction sounded like this was entirely unfathomable to him, so he adjusted it. He shrugged, nodded and said confidently, "I was." 

Donna nodded, threw the magazine down on his desk and began to ramble, "I was just as surprised as you were. I mean, when you consider how many men there are in this country, in this world, I never would have thought you'd make the cut. But I guess they wanted an eclectic group of men and you covered the 'smart guy' category." 

Josh frowned and held a hand up to her, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just a damn minute. I am sexy. I am sexy in my own right...I'm not filling some sort of quota for them. And, even if I was, there are a whole bunch of other 'smart guys' they could have picked. Yet, wisely, they chose me." 

Donna rolled her eyes at his smug grin. She could almost see his ego growing right in front of her. 

Damn People magazine, she thought. Damn them for the even-more-arrogant-than-usual-Josh that she was going to have to endure. 

He smiled, "So what number was I? Three, two, one?...Hmm, which one?" 

Donna allowed a wide smile to spread across her face, "Fifty." 

Josh's mouth hung open. He repeated, "Fifty?" Donna nodded and Josh continued in frustration, "How the hell could have I have been number fifty? That means I *just* made the cut. Who the hell could they have put in front of me?" 

Donna raised her eyebrows in an 'are you serious' manner. "Josh, do you have any idea how many sexy men there are that are constantly in the public's eye? The amount of TV stars, movie stars and music stars? It's practically in their job description to look sexy. You, Joshua, are lucky to even be on the list." 

He shook his head, "No way. Who was number one? Who stole my spot?" 

Donna sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Mel Gibson." 

"Mel Gibson?" Josh asked incredulously. 

"Yeah, you know, the 'Braveheart' guy." 

"I know who Mel Gibson is, Donna," Josh replied tersely. 

He then shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "What's that guy got that I don't have?" 

Donna had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, "You're kidding right?" 

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" 

Donna shrugged and tried to respond as seriously as possible. "Josh, he makes women swoon when they simply hear his name. They like his rugged good looks, his charming smile, nice physique, great sense of humor." 

Josh nodded, "I'm waiting for you to name something that he has that I don't." 

Donna sighed, "He's a rich and famous movie star." 

Josh shook his head, "I've got him beat. I'm a comfortably living, extremely powerful politician." 

"Yes, and that earned you the respectable slot of number fifty." 

Josh shook his head again, "Donna, Mel Gibson says lines like 'They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom", while I fight for that freedom...I should be number one." 

Donna groaned, as she grew tired of trying to stroke his ego. She said tersely and quickly, "Look, Josh, you've got unruly hair, wrinkled clothes, a body that hasn't seen the inside of a gym in two years, and a face that shows that you haven't slept more than four hours a night since preschool...Consider yourself lucky." 

Josh seemed taken aback by her bluntness. He looked down and fingered the pages of the magazine. He said softly, in a voice cracking with emotion, "I...I didn't know you felt that way." 

Donna's shoulders sagged, as she realized she'd hurt his feelings. She took a step forward, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say those things. It just came-..." 

Josh lifted his head and grinned. Then he raised his arms up in the air and said, "And I can act, too!...Take that Mel Gibson!" 

Donna's eye widened, as she realized he was pretending. She took a step forward and slapped his arm. "That's a horrible thing to do, Joshua! I felt bad." 

Josh shrugged and sank back down into his chair. He leaned back, placed his linked hands behind his head, and propped his feet up on the desk. "Why don't you go get one of the Sexiest Men Alive a cup of coffee." 

Donna snorted, "The day you make it to number one is the day I bring you coffee." 

Josh was about to respond, when Sam stormed into his office. He held the magazine up, "Have you seen this?" 

Josh nodded with a cocky grin, "I sure have, buddy." 

Sam began to flip wildly through the magazine, "I'm not in it! How the hell did you get on the list and I didn't?" 

Josh leaned forward, his brow creasing. He gestured to Sam and Donna, "Okay, you two are seriously threatening to ruin my moment in the sun." 

Sam, however, paid him no attention and began to ramble, "I mean, I'm not one to brag, but I think I'm a good looking guy. I have sparkling blue eyes, sharply defined facial features, a toned physique and a smile to die for. I am also a considerably powerful, intelligent man." 

Josh smiled, "They were going to pick you, but they realized that women don't find men who ramble to be sexy." 

Sam's face fell, "Well, I've never found that to be true." 

Josh waved his hands at them in a 'shooing' motion, "Please, leave me alone...I need my beauty rest." 

Donna moaned softly and responded, "Five minutes ago, you were whining about being number fifty...Now, you're a male diva." 

Josh grinned, "That's was before I realized that Sam, Toby and Leo didn't make the list. I'm a very content man now." 

Sam shook his head, "I still don't understand how this oversight could have happened." 

Josh shrugged, "Face it, Sam, women love me. I do have a fan club." 

"I have a fan club, too," Sam said softly. 

Josh laughed, "One fifteen year old girl following you around the supermarket saying she loves the 'poetry' you write for the President, does not constitute a fan club, Sam." 

Sam blushed and responded weakly, "Hey, she's the president and founder of the fan club and she assures me that she is working tirelessly to recruit members." 

"Maybe if she stopped hanging out at the supermarket waiting for you, she'd have a better chance." 

"It's called taking an active interest, Josh." 

"It's called stalking, Sam," Josh said with a grin. 

Sam groaned and collapsed into a chair across from Josh. Josh shook his head, "How did you misunderstand 'please leave me alone' to mean 'please sit down and further disturb me'?" 

Sam ignored him and neither noticed as Donna slipped out. Sam began to flip through the pages and finally came to the one that he was looking for. He read it aloud, "Number fifty: White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua Lyman." He paused and then continued, "While his unruly hair and lack of fashion sense may make him an unlikely choice for one of the Sexiest Men Alive, White House Deputy-..." 

"Lack of fashion sense?" Josh interrupted. 

Sam smiled at him, "You bought all of your ties from a street vendor named Buddha on your first business trip to New York, Josh. What did you expect?" 

Josh shrugged and smiled, "Points for originality." Sam shook his head, as Josh continued, "I am not an unlikely choice." 

Sam nodded, "You're right." Josh offered him a pleased smiled, but Sam continued, "You're a shockingly unlikely choice." 

Josh grimaced at him, "Leave and take your jealousy with you, Sam." 

Sam ignored him and began reading again, "...White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua Lyman's charming self-confidence and refreshing wit make young women swoon." 

Sam rolled his eyes, as Josh slammed his hands down on the desk and stood up. "There it is! I make young women swoon! Donna said Mel makes women swoon, well so do I!" 

"You make me nauseous, if that means anything to you," Sam muttered. 

"You're envious, I understand. I make young women swoon, I'd be jealous of me too." 

"You make hormonal teen girls, who like guys with brains bigger than the Backstreet Boys and who are obviously unbalanced, swoon. It's not that great of an accomplishment." 

Josh snarled at Sam, snatched the magazine from his hands and walked out of the office. He found Donna walking down the hall and quickly caught up to her. 

He shoved the magazine into her line of vision and pointed at the text. "Its says I make women swoon. Mel makes women swoon, I make women swoon. It's obviously his Hollywood connections that got him the number one spot." 

Donna groaned, "One more word about this, Josh, and you're going to become one of the Sexiest Men No Longer Alive." 

Josh smiled, "If it's any comfort, I owe much of this honor to you. Since you lighten my work load considerably, I am able to take time to hone my sexy qualities." 

Donna rolled her eyes, "F.Y.I, Josh, women don't find conceited men to be sexy." 

Josh grinned and waved the magazine at her, "Oh, I beg to differ." 

* * * * 

Danny's hand flew up and CJ nodded her head in his direction, "Danny." 

"How is Deputy Chief of Staff, Joshua Lyman, reacting to the news that he has been named one of People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive?" 

CJ brought a hand to her forehead and sighed, "The President just unveiled a billion dollar plan to improve health care and you're wondering how one of the staff feels about being popular?" 

Danny smiled, "Yes." 

"You've got a high class of readers there, don't ya, Danny?" 

He nodded with a grin, "They have uncommonly high standards." 

CJ sighed, "I'm sure Mr. Lyman is very pleased with this recognition, as are we all." She paused and then added with a smile, "I, for one, feel honored to even be in his presence and will now walk ten paces behind him." 

The press corps laughed, as CJ picked up her notepad. "Thank you and I'll see you at tomorrow's briefing. Have a good day." 

CJ pulled her glasses off as she left the podium and was immediately approached by Josh. 

He grinned at her and CJ rubbed at her temples with one hand. "I'm warning you, Josh, I have no interest in hearing about how sexy you are right now." 

He shrugged, "I had no intention of bringing that up." He paused and then added, "I was just thinking we should practice that ten paces behind thing cause it could be tricky." 

CJ shook her head and slapped him gently upside the head. 

"Ow!" he said and began to rub at the back of his head. "What was that for?" 

CJ smiled and stopped walking long enough to face him, "That was for acting like a pompous jerk. Hopefully that blow to the head will decreases the size of it." 

He shook his head, "I don't understand. Everyone's always said I'm a pompous jerk, but I never got hit for it until today...This makes number two, for those of us keeping count." 

CJ smiled, "That was before magazines starting hailing you as sexy. Before, your arrogance was strangely charming and irritating...Now it's just irritating." 

Josh smiled, "I don't care. I make women swoon." 

"I could still kick your ass with my hands tied behind my back though." 

"Oh, that hasn't changed. I just care less, because I make women swoon." 

"Go away now," CJ said. 

"Okay," Josh replied and turned down the next hall. 

* * * * 

Donna came to Josh's side, as he walked towards his office. "The president of your fan club called." 

"Really?" Josh said with a a large smile. 

"Yes, really." 

"I wasn't aware that there was an actual president of my fan club." 

Donna smiled, "Well, someone has to put the newsletter together." 

"So what did she sound like?" 

"Like a female." 

"What kind of female?" 

"One with a lot of time on her hands and a warped mind." 

"I meant what does her voice sound like." 

"It sounds like a twelve year old girl's voice, Josh," Donna said with a smirk. 

"Jealousy thy name is Donna," Josh replied. 

Donna snorted, "I am not jealous of your teenybopper groupies, Joshua." 

Josh placed his arm around her shoulders and said, "Don't worry, you'll always be the girl who takes my calls, types my memos, arranges my schedule and refuses to bring me coffee." 

Donna groaned and shrugged his arm off of her, "If God hates me, then, yes, I will." 

"So what did the president want?" 

"President Bartlet didn't want anything." 

"The president of my fan club, Donna." He paused and then asked, "What's her name anyway?" 

Donna shrugged, "I don't know. Brittany, Tiffany, something that sounds peppy." 

"Donna!" he scolded. "It would have killed you to write her name down?" 

"I did," she handed him a piece of paper with her notoriously bad handwriting on it. 

Josh squinted his eyes as he studied it. "Okay, her name is either Condom Holesworth or Contraception Hollywart." He smiled and looked at her, "Either way, one has to wonder what her parents were thinking." 

Donna chuckled and looked at the paper, "Candace Hollandsworth...That's her name." 

Josh's eyes widened, "That's what that says? You know, Donna, you should really consider hiring a personal translator." 

Josh jammed the paper into his pocket. "So what did she want?" 

Donna sighed, "She said that your fan club is honoring you at a luncheon tomorrow because of your recent recognition." 

"Really," Josh said cockily. "A luncheon...just for me." 

"Actually, they were going to honor the other forty-nine men, but I told them that they'd have enough trouble fitting even your ego into the room." 

Josh smiled and ignored Donna's jab. "I wonder what I should wear." 

"Considering the magazine says you lack fashion sense, I'm thinking it won't matter." 

"True, they love me for...well...me." 

"I think I'm going to be sick," Donna muttered. 

"Did you have the meatloaf in the cafeteria for lunch?" Josh asked. 

Donna groaned and walked away from him. He called after her, "Or was it the tuna salad...Never have the tuna salad." 

* * * * 

The next day, Josh stood in front of the interior mirror of the closet in his office. He was holding different ties up to his chest. 

"Not that one," Donna said, as she stepped into his office and placed a file on his desk. 

"What's wrong with this one?" 

"The fact that it's purple isn't enough?" 

Josh shrugged and put the tie back. He pulled out another one. Donna sighed and walked to his side. "You're hopeless. You're wearing a charcoal suit with a white shirt. How is it possible that you think an orange tie will look good with that?" 

"Have I mentioned that I'm color blind?" Josh asked with a smile. 

"That would certainly explain a lot," she replied. 

Donna looked in the closet and dug around a bit. She finally found a black and gray striped tie she liked. She pulled it out and placed it around his neck. 

Josh frowned, as he looked down at the tie, "You don't think that's a bit...I don't know...blah." 

"It's just right." 

"I think it's make me look blah." 

"And how exactly did you think the purple and orange ties made you look?" Donna paused and added, "Like a pimp maybe?" 

Josh grinned, "Well, name one pimp that's ever been described as blah looking." 

"I can't even name *a* pimp, Josh," Donna replied with a smile and began to tie his neckwear. 

When she was finished, she adjusted his tie once more and looked into his eyes. She smiled and said softly, "You look good." 

Josh found himself being pulled in by her gaze for a moment. He quickly averted his eyes and swallowed hard. "Thanks." 

Donna stepped back and looked at her watch, "You've got to go...You're going to be late." 

Josh grabbed his jacket and then turned to Donna, "I'm...well...I'm a little nervous." 

Donna's eyes widened at him, "In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you nervous before, Josh. You've done huge things, this is nothing. This is in front of a bunch of teenage girls." 

"Yes, who happen to idolize me." 

"I think idolize is a tad strong." 

Josh chuckled and then asked reluctantly, "Will you come with me?" 

Donna raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Come with you?" 

"Yeah...I don't know...It would just be nice to see a friendly face in the crowd when I'm up there giving my little speech thing. Plus, who am I going to talk to the whole time? I don't read 'Seventeen', so I'm thinking that I may be at a loss for conversation topics with them." 

Donna studied him thoughtfully for a moment. She had never really seen him like this before. It seemed like, suddenly, the overly confident Josh was doubting his ability to charm a crowd. 

Strangely, it was this vulnerability that seemed truly sexy to her. 

She nodded, "Sure, I'll go." 

He smiled, "Good, come on." 

* * * * 

Josh and Donna entered the small room at the hotel where the luncheon was being held. As soon as Josh crossed the threshold, he was met with a thunderous applause. A few girls let out shrieks as he walked by them. 

Donna perused them with a strange expression, as Josh simply grinned from ear to ear. 

There were more than fifty fan club members stuffed into the close quarters. Josh and Donna took their seats at the head table. They were introduced to the president, vice president, treasurer and gossip contributor to the newsletter. 

Josh walked off to talk to some of his fans and left Donna alone. The gossip columnist turned to Donna and smiled. "So, is it true?" 

"Is what true?" 

"Is Mr. Lyman dating his assistant?" 

Donna's eyes widened and she was about to respond when the girl continued, "Because I heard she's a control freak...That she controls all aspects of his life. I heard she won't let him drink alcohol." 

Donna's brow wrinkled in dismay, "She's actually a very lovely, considerate woman. He has a sensitive system and-..." 

"I heard that she spouts useless facts and is always bugging him." 

"Now wait just a minute, I-..." 

"And I've seen only fuzzy pictures of her, but there is no way she's a natural blonde. What could he possibly see in her?" 

Donna clenched her fists together and was unable to control her anger. "You listen to me, you gossiping little hussy, I take good care of that man. He can't drink or he'll end up with panties around his neck. He pretends to hate my useless facts, but secretly enjoys them...And I am a one hundred percent natural blonde!" 

The girl was taken aback by Donna's outburst. She replied hesitantly, "So, you're Mr. Lyman's assistant?" 

Donna smiled calmly and asked, "Did I say that?" 

The girl smiled nervously, "So...*are* you two dating?" 

Donna grinned and leaned towards the girl. Then she whispered, "Wouldn't you like to know." 

* * * * 

"So, I'm trying like crazy to make them understand that I just made up the secret plan to fight inflation, but they just won't listen!" The group of girls Josh was speaking to laughed at him. 

He grinned at them, immensely enjoying the attention he was receiving. He was just about to launch into another story, when he noticed that Donna was sitting by herself at their table and looking very lonely. 

He excused himself and walked over to her. "You don't look like you're having fun." 

She smiled weakly, "Being in a room filled with women who adore you isn't my idea of fun." 

Josh grinned, "See, now that's where we're different." 

Donna offered him a polite smile, before she looked down and began to push the food around her plate. 

Josh's smile faded, as he realized that the only woman who truly mattered to him in the whole room was the one who was very unhappy at the moment. 

He was about to speak, when he heard the fan club's president begin to talk from the podium. 

"We are all here for one reason: To honor the man who was just named one of People's Sexiest Men Alive. White House Deputy Chief of Staff is admired by us for his rugged good looks, charming personality, incredible wit and amazing intelligence. These are the things that make him sexy and we are very proud that he is being recognized by a wider audience. Now, without further ado, Joshua Lyman!" 

The crowd cheered and Josh looked back at Donna for a moment, before taking his place at the podium. 

He smiled and then began, "Thank you all for coming. This is truly overwhelming." He paused a moment and then continued seriously, "I lied awake in bed for a long time last night trying to think of something funny to tell you all, a humorous anecdote that I thought you might enjoy. But, for the life of me, I couldn't come up with anything. And then I realized why: this isn't the forum for that. Sure, I could amuse you all with my many mishaps, but to do so would be missing a marvelous opportunity. I have as a captive audience a group of young women, our country's future. This chance doesn't come around often. 

"So, I'd like to use this opportunity to say something truly worthwhile. One simple phrase actually: Always be considerate of other's feelings. I know that may sound simplistic and childish, but it's a good rule of thumb. As you go through life, you will be faced with disappointments and successes. They both will cause you to react in a certain way towards the people in your life. If you remember this one rule, then you won't make the mistake I did yesterday. I walked around the West Wing yesterday acting like a total arrogant, superior ass. I probably made a lot of people feel pretty bad about themselves." 

He paused and turned to meet Donna's gaze, "And today I ignored the feelings of someone I really care about." He stopped for a moment and then continued, "Follow this rule and you will enjoy your successes much more because they will be shared with people who truly care about you...An honor is hollow if you haven't anyone to share it with. 

"So, maybe this isn't the sexiest thing to be saying, but it's worth reminding you of. You'll be able to do many great things if you have people there to support you...I know I have." 

He stopped and then added with a grin, "Who knows? Maybe one of you will even be named to People's 50 Sexiest Men Alive someday." The room, composed entirely of women, dissolved into laughter, followed by a rousing round of applause. 

Donna hadn't been able to take her eyes off of him the entire time. 

This was why she loved him, although she still hadn't entirely admitted that fact to herself. 

She loved him for the incredibly caring and sensitive man he could be. 

And she didn't find him sexy because of his swagger or his cocky grin. 

It was deeper than that...It was more...It was because of the man he is inside. 

Donna was thrown from her thoughts when Josh appeared in front of her. He smiled and extended his hand to her, "What do you say we get out of here?" 

Donna returned his smile. "Sure. Can you get my coat from the coat check, please?" 

Josh nodded and turned around. 

Donna stood up and was about to leave, when the gossip girl addressed her, "So, what's he really like?" 

Donna smiled to herself and then said softly, "Wouldn't you like to know." 

With that, Donna left the table. 

She allowed her smile to spread to her lips as she realized that these girls could worship Josh until they were blue in the face, but they would never truly know him. 

They would never know him the way she knows him. They would never know the subtle aspects of his personality that only she noticed...that only she loved. 

They would never know why he rated number one on her Sexiest Men Alive list. 

* * * * 

Donna slipped into the coat that Josh held out for her. "Thanks." 

He nodded and allowed his hands to linger on her arms a tad longer than necessary. "I'm sorry I kind of ignored you in there. I just got caught up in talking to all of my fans." 

Donna nodded, "It's okay. I'm sure they appreciated the attention you gave them." 

Josh nodded and then looked down, "I'm also sorry that I was such a jerk yesterday. I did let the recognition go to my head." 

"I understand." 

"Donna," Josh began softly, as he stared at his feet. "I...well...I just wanted you to know that there's only one woman I hope never stops being a member of my fan club." 

Donna smiled and returned in a voice just as soft, "Don't worry, Josh, I'll always be your number one fan." 

Josh smiled and placed his arm around her waist as they walked out. 

He turned to her with a grin, "You know, getting coffee seems like something a number one fan would do." 

Donna smiled, "Nah, why don't we leave that to your president. In a few more years, she'll be able to drive to Starbucks all by herself and bring you a cup everyday." 

Josh laughed and shook his head at her. 

Little did she know, her number one fan had his arm wrapped around her waist. 

And there wasn't a doubt in his mind who ranked number one on his Sexiest Women Alive list. 

THE END 


End file.
